I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
