Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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