She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
