idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
