I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There's always time for handjobs
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize