OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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