i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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