im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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