I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
