Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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