What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
