Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
