Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
