just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
