I'm lost and stupid without you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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