the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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