He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
