i just had sex bonerless
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
