all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
only you would photoshop your dick
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i think i just lost a toe
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
