problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
