So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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