She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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