so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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