His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize