No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
