Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
