i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
