32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
