Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
