Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
