No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
