Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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