party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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