Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
