If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's blow job season.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
