After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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