Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
