1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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