I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
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It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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