so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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