Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
