Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She's like a pop up book from hell.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
