Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
