No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
