Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
