It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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