so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
