ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
