Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
