You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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