Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
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our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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