I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
