party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
The air taste purple.
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