i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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