The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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