yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
