dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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