Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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