The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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