roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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