Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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