hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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