i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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