Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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