big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
